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Condition

by summer vacation

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1.
i know what you want. i can get you what you want. sleeping the day away, more than anyone really- twelve hours straight to my head. give me fifteen minutes and it's gone. it's been way too long. i never knew your name. it wasn't for me to find out anyway. go away, i don't care. tell me what you really, really want.
2.
i can't stay awake. i'm falling asleep and into my dreams. and it may seem... i think we're alone now. i can't stay like this. i'm fading away like a candle made of fat.. melting away, melting away now. i can't figure out what we did wrong and under this moonlight i think we're alone now.
3.
Post-You 03:10
why are you so hidden in plain view? you're nothing more than a ghost. i reach out to touch you but i'm grabbing at thin air. no, i'm not familiar. i don't know you anymore. slowly existence dissappears. i turn into a pile of ashes on the floor. what does it feel like to not care anymore. aren't you afraid at all? aren't you sad at all? and i'm afraid of you because i'm afraid of me too. i don't want to know you. i don't want to see you.
4.
Team Captain 02:15
team captain with the word i'll follow your lead. i don't know who i'm supposed to be. because this life ain't my own and we're always being sold when you're gone for so long. i don't know how you choose to believe in those things. conflicted and lying, i never want to be. you know i just don't get it but she found out the hardest way. you may not want to let me down but you don't really seem to mind. you may not want to let me down but you don't really seem to try. team captain, with the word i'll follow your lead.
5.
burn the blueprint, cut the seal. we decide what we want is real. illusions play games with the things we see. rhythm shakes the truth out from that hole where she went into hiding. far from any life in the wheel, you hear me? i got the blueprint in my hands. it belongs to me. you ask for a story to put your case to reast. this pressure in my head comes and goes like moving pieces out of place.
6.
Last Summer 01:45
here i am in the second grade sitting here talking to you. talking about video games and i still don't know how to tie my shoes. i couldn't wait for summer vacation to arrive. i couldn't wait to get out of here alive. talking over pudding about games and stuff and how i saw naked girls on my father's black-box i didn't know what to make of it so i probably shouldn't talk about it goddamn, i don't miss the days when i was so confused. i don't miss those long school days, sitting and waiting and thinking about how i couldn't wait for summer vacation to arrive how i couldn't wait to get out of here alive. mother, take me home. father, please don't go. please don't leave me alone.
7.
Blue Dream 03:40
nervous, afraid, anxious, worried, shot to pieces, anticipating happiness, excitement feeling sanguine hue, dark surroundings, useless wandering. am i a "who"? am i just a thought in the back of your mind? am i what you're looking for? can you reach deep into my core? longing yesterday, replaying sentiment... another chance at communication. if only i had the words to pick and choose what you heard. if only i had the words for you.
8.
i'm softer than your shade of blue. divide into two, it's what you do. close to trail, this preparation. one part saved for future deconstruction. i feel too much when the frame is you. the glitch is the second and it's you. i know it's you. i know it's you. another meeting forces closure. my regret in judgement becomes a frightening reality. and all i want is for you to like me. can you feel? oh god, it's so real! and much too much to understand! say what you really want to say because i'd really to know.
9.
Dementia 01:14
can't remember your name, what you look like, who you are. don't want to grow old with my shoes untied and my hair unfurled. i don't want to rot with the t.v. set to channel 13. "what a pretty weather lady", "who are you, son of mine?", "don't you mind?" "i need some room to breathe", "i've lived too long with too much to see". i don't want to rot in this fucking chair. my spine crooked and my teeth not all there. i never want to feel totally useless.
10.
Not That 02:04
you get so alone when everyone goes home and they never let you know everything or anything at all. discarded scrap papers with phone numbers, they never answer your calls. hidden fragments build four way rooms. i can't stop looking. this place has a feeling i don't get from you. yeah, i want to be happy and warm. all i want is for you to be warm. you're more than discouraged and you're losing the courage to find any reason at all. in these moments and minutes i just want to finish wasting time waiting for calls. i feel so disposable like an ash in your eye. don't i know you? this place has a feeling i don't get from you. i want to be happy and warm and you to be warm.
11.
Vice City 01:47
i've been feeling bad and it feels so good all over. my bones are numb and tingling and it feels so good all over. i'm feeling bad. i'm a dirty little emo boy. you don't know where my hands have been. i'm running out of ways to sin. the smile has finally found my face. soon i'll be gone. this is the place... i want to die alone.. i've been so bad. i trust you so don't tell mom and dad. i've been, oh so bad. you've been too so you can't be mad at me for being me. i wanna kiss you from your lips to your feet. i wanna hold you and feel some heat. i wanna feel bad to that rock n' roll beat!
12.
Apparatus 01:49
13.
Cancer 05:39
somewhere between the morning rise to end. i stumbled with a notion and came home with a package saying "hey! i'm right here! wanting to be fulfilled". we wait, wither, and die and it bothers no one. looking through a mirror, we read from reflection. scale self-worth to you. i can see you and what you mean to me. somewhere misplaced, trapped in some daydream. i trembled at your smile as it turned into a blank. the match slowly dies and leaves behind a dance of twisted rising envelopes to elope my form and figure. come in closer, let me soak you in while i find resolution. sure definitive. forgotten document.

about

LP - Recess Records & Razorcake
CD - Lauren Records

www.recessrecords.com
www.lauren-records.com

credits

released December 20, 2011

Recorded by Andrew Schubert at Mix LA
(Like what you hear? Record with Andrew at Golden Beat: www.facebook.com/goldenbeatrecordingstudio/)
SV: Mark, Sean, Matt, Aaron

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all rights reserved

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summer vacation San Gabriel, California

SUMMER VACATION
Mark, Aaron, Sean, Matt.

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